The Dead Pool


Here are my 15 nominations for this years cavalcade of corpse counting, otherwise known as Laurence Simon’s “Dead Pool”. You can agree with my selection of those soon to be worm food, or make your own list and submit it here. Just follow the directions provided at the top of the main page and you’ll be good to go.
Now on to the “nearly departed”.
Dick Clark:(b)November 30, 1929 He ended ’04 with a mild stroke. Before we usher in ’06 he will be interviewing Hendrix on the Heavenly Bandstand.
Gerald Ford:(b)July 14, 1913 His time is coming, and the only man ever to not be elected into the vice presidency and then the oval office, will soon be trading golf tips with Bob Hope on the great driving range beyond.
Pope John Paul II:(b)May 18, 1920 I have to agree with others here. He is not going to make it to ’06. And as some have suggested will the next Vicar of Rome be it’s last?
Chief Justice William Rehnquist:(b)October 1, 1924 He is going to make a slight recovery, but by early next fall, will be on his way to the real “supreme court”.
Hugh Hefner:(b)April 9th, 1926 He will be having a date with a real angel before years end.
Ed Asner:(b)Nov 15, 1929 He was everybody’s favorite newsroom editor on the old Mary Taylor Moore show. And was quite the activist in the 70’s/80’s But now that Nancy Pelosi is working toward San Francisco becoming a *gun free zone*, perhaps Ed will be up there doing some theater in the round…and take a round from some punk or another who feels the *gun free laws* should not be applicable to them.
Paris Hilton:(b)February 17, 1981 Ok, this is a long shot…but there has to be either a stalker, a crazed religious fanatic, or lslamofascist (yes, she is one of the reasons why they *hate* us), or perhaps a real nutcase who is all the above. He will rid the world of this empty headed piece of plastic.
Kerry Wood(b)June 16, 1977 or Carlos Zambrano(b)June 1, 1981: This is nothing against either of these gents…really…it’s not! What I am saying is the Cubs have a strong starting pitching rotation ..it is perhaps the biggest thing they have going for them and could result in their making it at long last to the World Series. But fate will not be that kind….if it looks like they are going all the way this upcoming season, look for any one of their five starters to be called up to the *real Angels* dugout. I hope not…but this is the Cubs.
Zsa Zsa Gabor:(b)February 6, 1917 Yes darling, she of the many husbands will check outdo here this year and only her sisters know where she’ll be checking in.
Carlton Heston:(b)October 4, 1924 Moses will finally get to cross the river Jordan this year.
Kirk Douglas:(b)December 9, 1916 Will take it on the chin and also head across the Styx.
Barbara Billingsley:(b)December 22, 1922 Is finally going to “leave it to beaver”, as in “her last will and testament”.
Walter Cronkite: (b)November 4, 1916 Heads to the other side to have a face to face with Edward R. Marrow..And that’s the way it is.
Arthur C Clarke:(b)December 16, 1917 Begins his “Space Odyssey” as he heads for the heavens.
Come this time next year, we shall see who has had the clearest look at the grim reapers roster for ’05.
Update: Ya know sometimes you can spell check too much…sorry about some of the weird last names…seems the spell checker never heard of Moses or Leave It To Beaver…or CBS news for that matter. I want to also state here again, that these are NOT people I necessarily would take any sort of joy in their passing…just a list based only on *The Miss Cleo School of Prognostication*. So figure the odds of me being right. I have noticed in the comments folks are of the opinion I want to see these folks sent quickly on their way to the after life. Nothing could be further from the truth. ~The Management~

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s