There's an Ill Wind Blowing … NOT!


Political Correctness continues its encroachment on our freedoms and in (how we go about) our daily lives. One of it’s biggest segments of the population in which to exert its control has been (and continues to be) our public schools. No grade level is immune. And any behavior is subject to scrutiny.
Which brings us to this.

Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
By Holly S. Anderson
VillageSoup/Knox County Times Senior Reporter
CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: “flatus expelled through the anus.” And while it’s a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

Leave it to a bunch of eighth grade boys to come up with this! (Bless em!!) At least they didn’t take it to “the varsity level” by attempting to “light em off”. Yep, boys are like this, especially at this age. It’s funny, it’s fun, and there are no extra parts or equipment needed to pull it off. The girls will think it is gross, and the teachers will find it highly disruptive if done during class (big bonus points there!). At that age what’s not to like, indeed, enjoy about this?
(And an aside to all you dads out there….admit it, you wouldn’t be mad at your son for doing this…well, maybe upset that YOU didn’t think about doing it when you were in eighth grade…but still. The young lad is bonding with his peers…a small pungent step forward in the male rites of passage…but still a step forward.)

According to this week’s Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke’s on the boys as the penalty for “intentional farting” is now a detention.
“Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS,” the newsletter said. “It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!”

Johnny: “But…..but…I just can’t keep it to myself!!! The beans and wienies for lunch were just ooooooo…..too much…….*bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiippppppppp*”
Principal/Fart-Hall Monitor: “All right Mister!! That’s the third time this week, and it’s only Tuesday! You are on double secret probation!!!!”
And would someone explain to me exactly the correct verbiage/sentence structure for “This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions.” Shouldn’t it read WHICH prevents instead of THAT prevents? And are the potential farting felons the start of a trend? If so, what’s next, misdemeanor booger flinging?

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday’s storm-related early release, the eighth-graders’ escapades are well known in the school. “They would do it in science class and other places,” said Jordan Tyler. “It’s a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day.”

Imagine so. “Wow, did you hear Billy let one rip in Mrs. Rottencrotch’s class today? It was awesome!!! And had great hang time too….you could still smell it at the end of the period.” “Man, his colon must be diseased!”

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn’t remember where they heard it.

Hmmm, a single, or perhaps incident done a couple of times during the course of a week gets embellished as only a story can in junior high (as we used to call middle school, back in the day). Perhaps not as big a deal as originally thought? Nope, that can’t stop the PC crowd….”We gotta nip this in the bud Andy” {/Fyfe}

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

I bet this kid is well on his way to being completely “pc-whipped” before he finishes high school. Sad very sad. Then again, perhaps he is just learning how to hedge his bets…and has a future ahead of him in politics.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, “It’s gross.”

“See, I told ya it would gross out the girls!!!”

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences

Which was hard to do, I am sure, between the giggles, snorts, and outright laughter, and (I would dearly hope) more then a couple of stray non-pc farts!!

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

Nice to see the Superintendent got a (deserved) chuckle outta this…perhaps there is a ray of sanity in that school system. But chances are the Superintendent is a mother of more then one son who has “tooted his horn” more then once around the house. And she knows, or well remembers what eighth grade boys are like.
I … *poooooooooot* …. excuse me!!! … hope so.

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4 Comments

Filed under News of the Day, Random Thoughts

4 responses to “There's an Ill Wind Blowing … NOT!

  1. And would someone explain to me exactly the correct verbiage/sentence structure for “This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions.” Shouldn’t it read WHICH prevents instead of THAT prevents?
    Actually, the sentence is completely wrong. There’s no way it can prevent the flatulence. It can only prohibit it.

  2. Duh

    Former Lurker is obviously right that “prohibit” should have been used in place of “prevent”-but the use of the word “that” is otherwise correct; the use of “which” normally requires that it be preceded by a comma.

  3. “PC-whipped”???? Priceless! Glad I wandered over from The Rott.
    Sir, I bow in the presence of greatness.

  4. When I was in middle school the fad was belching. I got stood outside in the hall by my 8th grade science teacher because I let one loose that knocked the chalk dust out of his erasers. “Belching like a sow,” I believe was the expression he used.

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