At Long Last, I Can Retire!


I looked at my email, after we returned from the morning travels to the big city, and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the following.

This is to inform you that your e-mail has won you a total sum of £350,000.00GBP in the Pepsi Christmas lottery which was held on the 10th of December, 2010. To claim your winning prize, please contact the officer in charge (Mr. Donald Harry: pepsi.dharry@rogers.com) with the information requested as below:

Full Name:
Mailing Address:
Mobile No:
Occupation:
Sex:
Age:
Country:

Further information about fund disbursement will be communicated to you after responding to this notice.

Thank you.

Mary Lee
Public Announcer

NOTE: ALL CORRESPONDENCE AND RESPONSE MUST BE ADDRESSED TO DONALD HARRY: (pepsi.dharry@rogers.com)

Now, Ms Nitschke’s (I wonder if she is related to the late great middle linebacker, Ray Nitschke? If so, perhaps I had better take her up on the offer or things could get ugly.) name was at the Heading of the email, and her address is (was?) “mnitschk-at-linfield.edu”. And Mr Donald Harry (at “pepsi.dharry-at-rogers.com”) are both willing to award me this vast amount of money 350 million pounds (British), which equates to roughly $55,492,730. No small change, indeed. And all because my email was somehow selected as the “winner”. By whom, when, and where? And Pepsi is running major contests in Great Brittin and not in their country of origin? Not to mention (alright, I will!) neither individual has an email addy which properly lists pepsi … something akin to “harrystinkfinger-at-pepsico.com”, or the like.

I don’t know. This is the season for “Christmas miracles”. Should I blow this off … OR should I have some fun with it, much like Steve, at the old “Hog on Ice” did with his Nigerian friends?

What do ya’ll think?

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11 Comments

Filed under Humor, Scribbles

11 responses to “At Long Last, I Can Retire!

  1. Have fun with it. Make them put dead fish on their heads 😉

    • Or get them to go and find some poison ivy (send em a photo of same) say it is a local “Christmas tradition”, much like mistletoe, to have a sprig of this hanging over the head of one they want to kiss. Could be interesting at that. Anyone else have any suggestions?

  2. It would be nice if we had a concerted DOS-type attack where thousands of people “respond” to the scammers, chewing up their valuable (questionable) time and resources (presumably limited to a spam machine and an ISP that doesn’t look too closely).

    If you make the “cost of doing business” too steep for them then they’re going to eventually quit and find something else to do, like get a job.

    But what if it is real and you’re rich, and you blow them off? Why, you could be set for life!

    (I truly hope you do not think for a second that I’m actually that stupid – that can be so demoralizing)

    • I know you are not that gullible, and neither am I (though had this been from Dr Pepper … who knows?!?!). What is sad is there are any number of gullible and or greedy folks out there, who are not all that computer literate or believers in common sense. They will fall for something like this, and quite possibly have their bank accounts lightened by a considerable amount. PT Barnum was right, after all.

    • I just saw your two links and they were deliciously evil … and I LIKED them!
      Regarding the toasted toddlers, do you baste them repeatedly, or let them get to a golden brown first?

      I think I might go the “lets give all this money to a non-profit route” (and I already have a glimmer of an idea for said “non-profit”). We shall see if my five active brain cells are up to the task.

      • Some people see them golden brown,
        The babies used to wipe ovens down.
        Some people see them golden brown,
        With brushes on their feet.

        Some people baste them til they’re done,
        To eat up children is oh, so fun.
        Some people baste them til they’re done,
        Those tender cuts of meat.

        (apologies to the carolers. I tend to rewrite songs into more tasteless forms)

  3. Oh, and tonight, I become a Grandmaman. Such fun the boy and I are gonna have. Such stories I will traumatize him with!

    • I have posted my reply to the holders of my millions of dollars, in the post directly above this. You may find it enjoyable. And great verse you have there!

  4. And congratulations of Grandmamam status! You now may begin the “paybacks” to those who sired same!

  5. I loved your solution. Far better than my own. Turns the tables on them right well. Kudos!

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