The Early Retirement Saga continues.


Well, the last post talked about my potential windfall, and what I should do to address this. Should I give Ms. Lee and Mr. Donald Harry the information they requested? Should I send a polite thank you to them both, and await further instruction(s)? Should I blow the whole thing off?

Having read a few of the suggestions offered by the commenters of the previous post, I came up with something else. Something more fitting for this time of year. A time of sharing, of giving to those who have little or nothing, of those who are perhaps maligned or misunderstood. After all, why should I be blessed with this vast amount of money while there are those in far greater need.

In light of this, I sent the following attachment, in my response to their initial email. Hope you all enjoy it.

Man and Goat Greater Tolerance Society

M Brace, Able, & Ewe
Man and Goat Greater Tolerance Society
666 Beastie Alley, San Francisco, CA

Donald Harry
Officer In Charge
Pepsi Company, UK

Date 12/16/10

Dear Harry,
We have been made aware of a potential donation on your part, to our cause. As a non profit organization, of small (but ever growing) stature, a donation of such a large size, would morally demand much, much more then just a simple form “thank you for your donation” letter. Indeed, with such a sizable sum soon to be in our coffers, we can think of no better way to immortalize you (and by extension, your company) than in having your name prominently displayed on each and every book, pamphlet, video product, “plushie”, and other “adult novelties”, said monies allow us to create, license, and manufacture. These will go so very far in getting our message out to not only “fellow travelers”, but the public (world wide) at large.

But all good things in this world are in need of funding in order to get them going, and our Society is no exception. To this end, we have our crack team of accountants, lawyers, and financial advisors are standing by in order to facilitate, as expeditiously as possible, the transferring of funds from your capable hands, to ours.

In order to do this, we will require the name of your applicable financial institution, the institutions applicable financial officer(s), phone numbers, and account number(s) so as to be able to confirm the transfer of funds, and alert them should something go amiss. We will also need direct phone numbers for you (and your able assistant Ms. Lee), and copies of a valid picture identification for both of you, should our representatives or agents have occasion to be in personal contact with you. (I imagine a future photo opportunity would not be out of the question, considering the large sum of monies we stand to gain from this transaction.)

With warmest regards,

Woo Lee Ewe
President, CEO
Man and Goat Greater Tolerance Society

Was I too crass or not crass enough? What say you gentle reader?

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5 Comments

Filed under Humor, PC or not PC, Random Thoughts

5 responses to “The Early Retirement Saga continues.

  1. BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    I would have been a bit more crass 😉

    *snort*

    • Glad you enjoyed it. Still have not received a reply, and no “undeliverable” notice either. We shall see if anything more develops. I was kinda hoping I would stay on just this side of believable for those who have a questionable grasp of the English language. Personally, I thought the name given to the “President of the non-profit”, was a bit of cleverness I usually don’t achieve that late at night.

  2. Guy,

    your response is a good one, and pretty humorous.

    I’m with Aggie, I probably would have been more crass. Like maybe sending a letter from the “World-Wide Spam Liberation Jihad Front”, asking for donations of money and weapons to shoot, blow-up, castrate, defenestrate, and mutilate the infidel spammers of the world.

  3. Ya’ll do realize the “Chosen Name” of the non-profit forms (with a little effort) the acronym MAGG(o)TS. *you have to kinda imagine the “o”*

    Actually, spammers might be the future “shovel ready” job(s) the empty suited one in DC keeps talking about. Someone has to dig their final resting places.

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